Thursday, November 6, 2008
I have been feeling increasingly lonely lately, whether in Washington or California. In California I am always aware that I'm only visiting briefly, and it will soon end. In Washington I have my parents, but it is very difficult to get out and I have lost contact, or have difficulty maintaining contact with, a lot of my friends. Most of my college friends have moved on and away. While I'm technically still a grad student at UC Davis, I know I'm really not. My wonderful peers are moving on while I am stuck in limbo until I die. I used to substitute therapy for a social life, but now most of my therapists say I've graduated. There are a few support groups but it is so hard to get to them and they are not really a place where I can meet new peers. I try to go to them when I can, and they are helpful, but they are not enough. I have been feeling especially lonely yesterday and today because one such group met last night and I couldn't go because I'm sick. I will try again next month, but who knows if I will make it.