Saturday, January 15, 2011

Faith

I wish I could believe as strongly as some of you.  But sometimes doesn't that
feel pompous?  To believe so strongly in what is really vastly out of
the simple reaches of our minds.  I guess that is part of why I have
trouble believing.  Often I think that we're not supposed to know.

And logic loves to get in the way.  I firmly believe, as much as I can
believe anything, that the existence or non-existence of God cannot be
“proved” logically.  I have read the classical so called proofs on
either side and they are all, pardon my terminology, bullshit.  My
parents tell stories about when I was about four and usually in the
car, when I brought up topics about God that they had told me and I
would declare that they were not true then would present a solid
argument that they were flummoxed by.  At the time I mistakenly took
that to be a reason not to believe - I hadn't yet figured out that
just because I could disprove substantial parts of something did not
make the whole thing untrue, or that some of those things where
oversimplified.

But I still wished I could believe.  I have prayed over my life that I
could believe and that I could listen to God.  But in thirty years I
still can't.  I'm not giving up, but I strongly suspect I'll take that
question to the grave with me, and hopefully it will be answered
there.

By the way, speaking of the grave, my mother and I have been looking
into options for donating my body to science once I'm done with it.
That way it will at least go to some use.  It looks like they will use
my body and then when done with it cremate it and return it to my
family.  And maybe it will go to the UW Hospital and one of the med
students I know can study it. ;)

Posted via email from skavookie's posterous

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