Thursday, December 25, 2008

Death

I really only think of suicide when people ask if I ever think of suicide. But I do sometimes wish I could, near the end of my life, just sail off into the ocean in a makeshift dinghy, or climb an impossible mountain, or take a long walk in the woods. Never to return, but to see how far I get before I die. Sometimes I don't feel like dying a peaceful and painless death. Sometimes I feel like dying a long and painful death, putting my last breath into struggling to get just one more millimeter farther on an impossible journey.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dearest Josh- Sometimes I, too think of the process of the end of my life. I guess we all do because that is the only thing we are assured will occur is the end. However I try to understand the view of those who know the clock is ticking vs us who can't find the clock at all. You once told me your desire was to make a difference in people's lives. You have done that for many of our kids. I would trade places with you were it possible to trade one old lady for one dazzling brilliant star. Let's get together for a visit soon. Much love and a great deal of prayers come to you from me and the church. Janelle