Epilepsy Scholarship Essay

To me, living with epilepsy means another challenge, another puzzle. I have a lot of practice facing challenges: ADD, OCD, Tourette's, Asperger's, asthma. With epilepsy, the challenge is not the seizures but anti-seizure medications that make me feel constantly drunk. Epilepsy saps energy that would otherwise go to other challenges and living my life. It means more stuff weighing me down when I'm already carrying enough. However, I have found that by carrying it all, I'm stronger and have learned a lot I can share with others.

Meaningless red tape is particularly difficult to do while "drunk." Everything else I choose to interpret as good exercise, but I have not managed to interpret red tape that way. SSI demands that I complete massive paperwork, with no help unless I get myself declared incompetent. I have medications that I need to live, but insurance keeps putting them on hold. So far I have been extremely lucky to survive such incidents. Red tape and cancer are racing to see which can kill me first.

I'm dieing, but that's ok. Life is terminal, but it's supposed to be. Challenges are what makes life worth living, failure is ok, the attempt is what matters. The real tragedy is when people never try, or are not allowed to try. I am very thankful to the many people who have allowed me to try. I intend to live my life by my own terms, succeeding and failing, until I die, and hopefully in the process teach people what living is really about.